


delusions

by thangam



Series: bad things happen bingo 2019 [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Feelings, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Insecure Tony Stark, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Proceed at Your Own Caution, Protective Steve Rogers, SUCH A GOOD FIC, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unhealthy Relationships, bucky comes back and steve loses his shit, i cried, ish, reading that and writing this, sequeal to broken...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21752563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thangam/pseuds/thangam
Summary: Steve puts him to bed and drops his head in his hands and cries.Though somehow, when Tony wakes up, it gets worse.(He has no one to blame but himself.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: bad things happen bingo 2019 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323713
Comments: 12
Kudos: 227
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	delusions

**Author's Note:**

> sq: touch starved
> 
> tw: neglectful relationships, implied alcoholism (it's really mild though. like really really mild.), and nightmares/panic attacks

“Tony,” Steve murmured, anguished as Tony shook his head against his chest. 

“‘S not real, Steve’s with Bucky, yes he is, because he,” Tony hiccuped wetly and wiped messily at his face, groping around blindly for a bottle and grabbing a random one to take a swig. “Not really, Bucky needs him more, and then Steve will be right back!” He slurred brokenly, listing forward, and Steve couldn’t do anything but catch him and tug the bottle gently out of his hand. 

“Okay, that’s enough of that,” he murmured under his breath, wiping at his own face before tugging Tony into his lap. “Sweetheart?” He crooned, rubbing his back. He knew how much Tony loved the pet names, and how he said it made him feel warm and loved inside. Steve felt another shock of guilt run through his system as he remembered how long ago that conversation was. 

“Steve isn’t here,” Tony mumbled. “Just got a little scared, just a couple nightmares,” he sobbed, wringing his hands and digging his nails into his palms before Steve took hold of them and spread his fingers to wrap them in his own. “Bucky, Bucky is more important, I can wait, I’m good at that.” Tony’s voice broke. “I’m  _ always  _ waiting.”

Steve wrapped one hand around both of Tony’s elegant ones and grabbed Tony by the chin gently, turning his head to make Tony look straight into his eyes. “Tony. Honey. Look at me, Christ, I’m so sorry.”

“Steve?” Tony whispered, shuddering, his hands escaping from Steve’s and clutching at his waist. “I don’t--I don’t understand, Bucky is more important, he needs you, shut up, shut up,” he hissed at himself, trembling, delusional. 

“Tony,” Steve murmured again, leaning in to press their lips together and feeling Tony go slack under him. “You’re not less than Bucky doll,” he croaked, pressing both their wet foreheads together. 

“Steve? You’re really here?”

“Yeah honey,” Steve said, patting Tony’s back and maneuvering them so that Steve’s back was against the headboard and letting Tony straddle him as the smaller man clutched at him with almost childishly wide eyes. It would’ve been adorable if Steve didn’t feel like his heart was breaking. “There we go. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered after a moment of just staring at him and crying softly with muffled whimpers. 

“Can you tell me what for, doll?”

“I’m being--I’m being selfish, and, and, Bucky--”

“Doll,” Steve said as firmly as he could. Normally, he’d give Tony a light pinch right on his ass when he said things like that, but Tony was so close to the edge that Steve worried that any bit of disapproval from him would have Tony toppling off a steep cliff with no return. “Bucky needed me, but you need me just as much honey. I’ve been neglecting you, and I can’t apologize enough doll, I never should’ve treated you like that. Once I’m sure you’re okay, I can go doll. If you never wanna see me again, I’d totally understand.” He softened his voice when Tony just blinked at him with sunken-in eyes. “Have you been having nightmares and panic attacks?”

Tony nodded, ashamed and Steve felt horrified as the next words came out of his mouth. “It’s not so bad,” Tony lied obviously, mouth twisting. “I--Your pillow smelled like you and I could deal, but, but, I got too many tears on it because,” his voice rose. “Becuase, because I’m weak, and I didn’t know what to do and I got scared even though you told me it’s okay--”

“Tony,” he said anguished again. “Baby.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Baby, don’t apologize,” he crooned, tugging Tony closer to his chest. “It’s okay that you got scared, I should’ve, I should’ve been here with you,” he muttered furiously to himself under his breath, rubbing Tony’s back when he stiffened. “It’s okay.”

“I got tears on your pillow,” Tony said, shame-faced and knawing on his lower lip and as dry as it was it immediately began to bead droplets of blood. 

“Hey don’t do that,” Steve said, tugging Tony’s bottom lip out from under his teth and nuzzling his cheek. “It’s okay, sweet thing, I don’t mind. Here,” he said when Tony yawned, blushing. “Don’t worry about it, let’s just get some sleep together, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Tony whispered, lying down on his chest as Steve stripped off Tony’s brewery-smelling shirt and pants, laying in just his boxers on the pillow on the bed. “You’ll stay?” he whispered anxiously. “You won’t leave me?”

“No, sweetheart. Never again.”

“Oh,” Tony said, contemplating. “Can, can I--” he stopped himself. “Nevermind.”

“You don’t need to stop, Tony, you can tell me anything, you know?”

“Can I have a kiss?” Tony was blushing furiously even in the lowered lights as JARVIS dimmed the lights into near darkness except for Tony’s reactor. “But you don’t have to, I know I don’t--I don’t--”

“Of course you can,” Steve interrupted and leaned up to press a kiss chastely to Tony’s lips. “I will always,  _ always  _ want to kiss you, honey, promise you that.”

“I like that,” Tony said shyly. “Can I have another one?”

Steve snorted and grinned in fond amusement. “Honey, you can have as many as you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> hola. if you liked it, make sure to leave a comment below! and as always, thanks for reading! 
> 
> hmu on tumblr [@thxngam](https://thxngam.tumblr.com/)! please please please send me prompts and you can follow for some content that I might not put on here!


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